i have been away...

most glorious one

i am wholly indebted to you
i could never come close to repaying you
you do not ask it from me
though i feel eternally compelled to offer

you have been calling me, signaling me
i am sorry i have not answered, i turned away
as tears flow gently from my eyes
i am drawn unto you through an unlikely source
i have felt your pleadings in recent days
in my mind i knew my travels were set to cease
i can see home in the horizon, its familiar glow
i am returning there, after being away for months

as i look to my feet i notice i am not walking
i am being carried by you, ushered to the end
i do not deserve this, for death is my wages
you give so freely to an ungrateful soul
even as i left you so that i might perish in my selfishness
you guarded me, you guided me through unimaginable dangers
death fell upon me and you brought me up from its grasp
such darkness pierced by your infinite light

and now here i am, broken, battered... and such time wasted
i have longed for that which does not edify, temporal cares
my sights set on the false world of earthly wealth and riches
while you still suffer from the pain of your death by my cruel hand
i plead now for your mercy, your forgiveness, your rescue
i realize these as i lie helpless in your arms, unable to move
words cannot begin to convey my anguish for my own rebellion
may the god of peace grant me swift death unto myself, renewal

oh providence i am in need of your assistance
i cannot live in this world on my own, i fall
bestow upon me brave wisdom to surrender
transform my animosity into a generous love
sanctify me by your spirit, oh true and only savior
mend my wounds which cloud my return
regenerate my soul into your perfect peace
and keep calm the waters which now lie still

o magnificent one, send forth your peace