david is dead, jonathan... or are you?

expectations in those closest to you set with the sun
as time goes by, no one remembers save for yourself
everyone forgets before your very eyes
they change their mind, they split away, they ignore
you scream and yell to bring them back
yet they keep on moving further and further away
you love and lose and love again
only to lose the final battle, a final blow to the head

alliances made, allies lost; no one lives forever
jonathan waited only to die, now david is alone
what is there left after all is said and gone
but a white flag, tattered and small, waiving
pain left long before, as the numbing set in
for to hurt was to feel, and feeling was the first to go
there are no more mountains to climb
there are no more rivers to cross

i remain ten years of age, no matter what i try
i see things the way i did then, loyalty is still first
i watch as those who once stood beside me divert
i know nothing will remain forever
but where did my david go, for our time was cut short
i thought i still had so much to learn, to glean
my humanness only complicates matters more
for i see things in a childish manner, a lens of loyalty

i once ventured down a stream,
but i like a salmon made the rigorous journey home
i was gone for a little while, but was it really that long
from my child like perspective it was a fleeting moment
bonds are broken faster than they are made
sarcasm and cynicism are more common than love
a sick sense of humor has perverted the air
and i am suffocating on the ignorance of others

i unlike the rest fail to despair, i decide to be happy
i am told, i do not know the difficulties of life
but i assure you i have earned my grey hairs
oh no, i am not invincible, i shall perish some day
i however have chosen to remain on the path of bonds
whether those who were originally contracted remain
for i cannot forsake such ties, what i thought to be real
but i cannot condemn either, as i am also human

my reality is made evermore clear to me daily
it seems as though providence is giving me a glimpse
people have been such a motivating force in decisions
and i suppose that they shall continue to be
beauty has been another factor i will admit
and i fear i have not chosen it enough times
my earth craving soul has spoken out, though
and i would do well to pay attention to that calling

the matrix is more real than ever before
apparitions of people are moved in and out of my view
computerized personalities come in and out of my life
for when the time counts, the cold air is my companion
of course there is providence who remains
but i sense a sadness in the presence
for a great commandment is spat upon daily
by a mass of spirits entrusted to live out a human life

finally, peace is a spiritual matter of integrity
that is to say it is not some physical presence of an idea
the word has been hijacked, corrupted beyond measure
it is a travesty, the selfishness that people now embrace
how dare anyone criticize anyone but themselves
for the lack of what they think of as peace on earth
i wonder how providence might look upon their lives
both past and present and future for that matter

with all of this said, i am still surrounded by people
wonderful people who love, but the number shrinks
to coin a phrase, i am a big fish in a small pond
and i will venture out from this place someday
relationships seem to come and go with the wind
but the bonds of covenant are strong
i now go back into the world, to show love
with providence as my guide, my covenant