a home for happiness

a song calls out in the winter's night, but to no avail
for a lad cries deeply, his tears turning to ice as they fall
he knows not love nor joy, but only true sorrow and pain
he cannot experience life as the others are more than able

the boy settles into the comfort of his own nightmare
he knows his fate, his true feelings and his own wants
choose he did not his own suffering, but they are still his
and for his lifetime, his own personality will torment him

doctors, scientists, and clergymen all try to fix him
but their potions cannot provide a salve for his wounds
for they are eternal, as the markings in the great lamb's book
and his markings will be with him throughout the ages

what happiness does this boy have, what dreams can survive?
do his own aspirations and desires die with the holy flame?
when will he know to step forward, back, up, down, or aside?
how can he know, when the realities of life torment him so?

something lighter

there is a certain dream to which i cling
it speaks of calm, cool, and clouds
if only i could jump into it head first
but alas my earthly dwelling keeps me

were i able to run the race slightly faster
i might arrive to my new utopia early
my thoughts frequently cherish this thought
but alas my earthly dweeling keeps me

for now i shall stay, quiet, sometimes loud
and i will keep watch of my surroundings
minding my balance, agility, and footwork
while my earthly dwelling keeps me

a good bit of trash to sort through...

http://www.time.com/time/personoftheyear/2005/people/

honestly, it's hilarious what objective journalism means today. this piece above is great. see if you can find the obvious hidden point of this piece. it is entitled, "people who mattered 2005."

time magazine is trash anyways, but i did get a kick in reading their little tidbits about the people who "mattered." the usual can be expected: liberals and bush haters were glorified; anyone associated with republicans, well you know what happened to them. i am not saying that these people did not matter, but it was in the write ups about them that the editor's true biased feelings came out. what surprised me the most is that the editor had more positive things to say about iran's anti-semitic president who has been threatening the use of nuclear arms than he did about George W Bush. i can understand people's dislike for our president, but come on, he is not out there saying hateful things about anyone. no one here would let him get away with that. he is not threatening the world with nuclear arms like a little child throwing a tantrum. wake up people, and stop playing the fool.

just a side note here. the time will come when lines will again be drawn against israel and jews in general. where will you stand? i tell you, that i shall not call friend anyone who does not stand in solidarity with israel. i will not even have to think about it. it is a problem that is escalating and i will be intolerant of it.

what has the world come to? are people so blind? yes, yes indeed they are. it is so simple, but people do not want to see things for what they really are (right and wrong), especially when it will call into question the morality of their lifestyle. pride is an awful thing.

pretending the feds eavesdropping was a secret...

congrats america! you have won the title of ignoramus... whoever of you that is actually did not have some idea about the feds eavesdropping on emails, etc. we knew about that years ago, it is old news. of course now it is simply another tirade against bush to try to destroy him, though he is leaving already in 2008! that is why i think the democrats and liberals in this nation who are partied to that kind of behavior to be foolish. they are trying to stop a horse that is at the end of the race, and if they would wake up they would realize the horse has already won.

an enormous election took place in iraq these last days, but you will not hear about that on any of news corporation owned television stations, which are all of the television stations! if you took a poll today (and one was just recently taken) in iraq, it would reflect an overwhelming positive attitude about what america did in that country. sure, you will have the minority angry voice (which by the way is the same voice that made saddam president of iraq in the first place :) but the largest voice of the people is their vote, and iraqis have voted for freedom.

these things do not matter to those who are trying to see to it that our nation self-destructs. they would rather see that happen so they could blame bush than see a safe nation with a president with whom they might not agree. they are unable to deal with these things with reason. they are immature. not logical. ignoramuses.

by the way, any of you who feel supremely violated that the feds have been "spying" on you should read the patriot act. many times, people do not actually read the bills which have been passed, which causes them to make ignorant statements about later upsets such as this one. while you are at it, you should take another look at the constitution and the bill of rights.

you think you have seen me angry...

people, including myself, do not think before they speak
too often words are spent as if they cost nothing originally
words are in fact precious, and should be used carefully

i know too well the damaging effect of words
whether i have been the attacker or have been myself afflicted
i know the carnage the tongue wreaks upon human beings

as this person that no earthly body truly knows
i can say words have tarnished me, eroded my soul
silently i have let the lexis reach deep into my heart
ripping to shreds all decency and humanity
i watch quietly as the hostilities occur

patiently, i let my spirits falter, die before my eyes
then i watch any hope i had, slip away into the dark
painfully seeking out new shelter, only to find none
my lifeblood thickens, it does not reach all my limbs
from there i find peace in letting myself go, the light cometh

but i still wonder what dreams might have come

what do you think?

you do not know
you do not know me
you cannot possibly know

do not think that for one moment you know
you are pompous to think so

what passes through your eyes as simple
treads heavily on my soul, indefinitely
and you cannot possibly know

i will never forsake the bonds of true friendship
i do not care what others will say, gossip
for i know who has been there, who will be there
and who will not

as these frustrations mount, i can only think of one place
high up in the mountains i wish i could be, far from this
i long to be with company, yet i long to be alone
those who smirk at my ire are ruthless
heartless beings that matter none to me, eternity
their cruelty catches me not, i fly onward

brash you may call me, but then you have not called
so stuff your nonsensicalness and be through with me
for i was long before finished with you

i digress, i come to the end of this rant
it sounds angry i know, but it is laced with certain truth
i will go on, with or without, i will go, though i might fall
i will indeed fly before the end, i tell you, i will fly

jacob marley are you there?

the countenances of the saints brood quietly over me
i know not who is there, save some peaceful specter
i look for reason for purpose but there can be none
in this realm of the mysterious, i know only a vanilla world

so these wraiths around me are watching, waiting
but for what? my curiosity kills neither i nor them
my eyes are tired; i cannot close them for they are dry
with the ceaseless petitions of the visual universe

surely no vessel can pass through here
for the tears that once flowed here have faded
tis such a lot of the worst, a deep sadness of heart
for through emotion flowed life; heart and soul