some thoughts...

don't quit now. i've stood behind you all this way, all the times that you have been beaten brutally. you have suffered through so much, do not fall here, it would be a waste. they hate you now, but you are right, and history will forgive you. i am sorry that humanity is too ignorant to see that, but they once reacted the same way to another great man...

...

ignoring me will not erase me. i am still here. i am waiting. and if i have changed so much, then why am i in such a state? there were many things said, some were good, some were bad, some were right. you tried to plant roots extremely fast and it pushed the soil right out of the pot. you do not seem to see that, but that is exactly how it happened. you cannot expect such forcefulness to be reciprocated with love and care. it was way too soon, too much at once, i voiced this over and over and over and over again. i spoke to deaf ears.

...

why do the terrorists attack public buildings and government landmarks? since it is the "culture of america" that they hate, should they not be attacking the chariot masters who are the driving force behind our culture? why do they not attack movie lots in hollywood? why do they not attack news corporations? why do they not attack the real "devil" behind our bad deeds--the media. are they so stupid that they cannot see this? oh wait, yes they are, because they have no regard for human life. i just wish that for once when people say things (like the terrorists explaining their reasoning for wanting to kill us) that they would be truthful. the terrorists, however, are just like our media--saying one thing, meaning another, and generally unsatisfied with life, so we the common folk must change for them to feel better.

veg on this!

i never noticed before how much of a meat driven society in which we live. chicken with this, beef with that, pork, liver, steak, lamb and the list goes on and on. as if there were not enough meat from which to choose. personally, i do not have a problem with anyone who eats meat, or even the act of carnivorous consumption; rather, it is the idea that i am different because i choose to abstain from eating of the flesh. it has been so long now that i cannot imagine how to stomach even the smallest portion of meat. i am so turned off by the idea alone.

so feeling like an outsider is not my cup of tea (only masochists enjoy such pleasures). did our world really decide in the infamous garden to throw in the towel and give up on greens? why must we all follow the "standard" so blindly? people tell me that they cannot live without meat, yet they ridicule the obese man nearby who believes he cannot live without sweets. my friends-turned-health-experts tell me that i cannot get the nutrients that my body needs solely from the ground. "you can't get protein," they tell me as my biceps are three times larger than theirs. "where do you get your calcium?" -a somewhat more valid point because cows produce calcium right?- wrong! cows get it from the same place that i do, from the ground.

the carnivorous bunch, as it were, cannot argue against my health, however, due to the fact that i am generally very healthy and in most cases healthier than they. additionally, i cannot lie about the fact that i have virtually no body fat and my heart is in the best shape it has ever been. i complete a cardiovascular exercise once daily and i am never chronically tired. now if only i drank nil alcohol and more water. perhaps i might have trained for the olympics! the point is that i can do virtually anything i want to do physically because of nurturing my body the way that i have.

above all people must understand that i do what i do because i want to do it. i am not sensitive to animals rights, although i think we should be good stewards of what is given us. however, are we being the best stewards using the cows for food? or would we not benefit more from sacrificing them for energy purposes? i must also address a certain notion here. for those of you who think you do not eat that much meat, let me ask you to inquire about all of the sauces you get with your food when dining out. also, be sure to ask what your food is cooked in. i know of several nicer restaurants that actually dunk their veggies in chicken broth before placing them in a stir fry sauce made primarily from beef, chicken or shrimp stock.

translation=meat in america is first ingredient to most foods.

that being said, there is more truth to theories about too much meat causing greater risks of colon cancers than there is to the myths of global warming. red meats make brown dark spots in the colon, and those brown dark spots are prone to cancer. never has a study concluded that any green vegetable caused any defect that could lead to a life threatening disease. so simply based upon the "gamble" mentality, one could assume that the safer option would be to exclude meat altogether from the diet, as it presents risks whereas the greens do not.

i do not preach my beliefs on this matter to anyone. i do however voice my frustration when it is not enough for me to simply keep my mouth shut; i must also change my ways because they themselves are offensive! poppycock i tell you, and i will not change my ways. what kind of a crazy world we live in where someone is more interested in my diet than my belief in christ? i tell you i am not.

ok, there is my veggie rant for the spring/summer. perhaps i'll drink blood by next fall, but it is unlikely...

so someone as smart as rosie should be able to figure out that conspiracy theories and myths of grandeur are simply bunk. she cannot, though. she is too hung up on her hate for a man who will soon leave office, and she will soon discover that life is not as simple as she thought, and the war that she hates will carry on--even if it is under a different flag. throw a democrat in there, she says, and all the world's problems will vanish! unfortunately democrats have a major flaw: they are human beings. they will fail, they will fall, and humanity will always disappoint. to obtain true fulfillment, one must have faith in something or someone much greater. but everyone is so busy trashing the fictitious creator and spurning his precepts that will always be blind to his goodness. how is it that i have made a serious error in a life decision but i can still see what is right, but others are so clueless as to their own self destruction? wake up america, half of humanity hates you, and it is not because of this recent war in iraq. yes, we could pacify as rosie and others would like us to, and our enemies will come over here and kill us because of people like rosie, and their alternative lifestyles. yes, rosie, we are protecting you and others like you, because this world has no tolerance for you! but you choose to hate us. your only saving grace. this is sad.

ironically, certain college professors that i know of are some of the most childish, irreverent, immature and irrelevant people i have come across. this, not stemming from their social interaction, but from their social disruption. they are paid to impart their knowledge upon their pupils, but they prefer to instill their rhetoric and their sentimentalism in the students who are forced to be the audience. these "master teachers" have an undeserved pulpit, and the vomit they are spewing is disgusting me.

consume less and live more?
ok then, i'll refrain from spending money on your movie(s).
fly your jets 'round the world to denounce wasteful americans.
then expect us to listen to what you are squawking about.
your logic is dim at best, and your message is lost in translation.

i want love. just a different kind. i want friendship.
i need to love a friend, and i need a friend to love me.
souls meet, hearts beat, and then nothing, space and time cease.
and then the bitter cold sets in. how i wish i had a jacket.

every time i round a bend or reach a mountain top
i seem to stumble and fall,
tumbling further from where i began
i am tired of failing, of falling, i am through

there is no simple solution in a box; no salvation
only more hurt, discontentment, and anquish
i despise the pessimist in me, but there it is
now a bottle of sedation sits before me, numbing me

oh how i long for the days of my childhood
wandring aimlessly in life, pondering the adventurous
i was stupid then, but i was most happy and joyful
i buried those days in my backyard with my piggybank...

traveling

i turn a corner, i climb the stairs,
my journey brings me to great heights;
while ascending into the realm of possibility,
energy infuses my actions.

purpose takes on new meaning,
light looks very different now.

motivation, then,
is drawn from my hope in a not too distant utopia.
worlds meet, hearts collide,
and all is quiet on this battlefield.

a thought, an idea,
of what one would become must change, evolve;
transformed into fresh clay,
taking on the likeness of the potter.

this, the quintessence of life itself,
the purest form of a miracle.

achievement is found
not in the acquisition of wealth or power;
but there is fulfillment
in progressing further along a path.