out with the old, in with the new. like a flood of rushing water the sunrise of the new year awaits. surpassing all possibility of remaining implacable, waxing nostalgic, the hereafter comes with a mighty sword, thrashing its way through all stubborn stragglers. i am already moving; i set sail long ago so as not to be taken by surprise. others will look on saying i have abandoned them but if they look closely they will see that my place was in danger from the power of the surge and theirs was safeguarded high atop a towering cliff. that they might come to see this is a dream of mine, yet it in itself is not to be real. perhaps one day their ship will be forced to set sail and i will greet them on the vast sea which now divides us. and we shall reminisce for auld lang syne. 

i found the source of the creepos. i had to kill it, and it hurt me to do so. i love green plants and when they wither a piece of my soul dies also. but the pest is gone and i am thankful. 

"As concerning my friends and kinsfolk," quoth he, "[I am not concerned] greatly for them. For I think i have sufficiently done my part towards them already. For these things that other men do not depart from until they be old and sick, yea, which they be then very loath to leave when they can no longer keep, those very same things did I, being not only [vigorous] and in good health but also in the flower of my youth, divide among my friends and kinsfolk. Which I think with this my liberality ought to hold them contented, and not to require nor to look that besides this I should for their sakes give myself in bondage unto kings."

-Utopia, Book I

in the bleak midwinter, we wait for glad tidings of christmas to bring us joy. in a season of cheer the heart longs for love and the spirit seeks peace in the winter solstice. another year has gone and a new dawn approaches. the new solar revolution will bring times of great change. i desire not to lose myself. i hope to love and be loved. i will bring success to myself and others. i will embrace with confidence the path revealed before me and i will endure to new heights.

i met impossible fate tonight, and again i was turned down.

i am not surprised, i will not falter; yet i am still sad.

still i will tarry; still i will endure;

and eventually i will find my respite; i know it.

i want to go to neverland. where endless beauty abounds. evergreen forests span the horizon. flashes of blood orange and mango yellow peel across the sky, piercing through the clouds on the sea. a ship rests gently in a cove. mermaids sunbathe on the warm rocks. the redskins hum soft melodies singing sweetly to the tune of dusk. time never catches up here. it is always behind.

the morning does not bring age, but rather a gang of hungry children pouring down a hill to pick fresh strawberries, blueberries, apple berries, bananas and kiwis to decorate their breakfast. they hasten only the delight of their stomachs, as a seemingly endless day lies in wait. enter the pan. the boy named peter descends upon his kingdom in a wave of glory as the realm of the fairies greets him magically. he does not worry; he does not fret. for here tears cannot exist. the very water to supply them is turned into fairy dust. though the young prince will lead his pack into battle with the pirates, he knows that good will win in this place. all will be well in the land of everlasting youth.

yes this is neverland. that place where i was meant to be. i must find my way. i must believe. i will think happy thoughts and gain my wings. i will take flight past the second star to the right and straight on till morning. there i will find the land of wonder. the dawn of enchantment. i shall touch down there, never to return.

i feel nothing. numbness is enjoyable to the extent that one does not feel pain, but it is not a lovable companion. drugs can only affect a mood; they cannot erase it.

http://www.washingtontimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071219/COMMENTARY/10575140

i feel sorry, no sad for those who still debase themselves by being a part of the religion of disinformation that is global warming. how many astrophysicists, geophysicists, scientists and doctors is it going to take to convince the fanatics that their blind faith in such a purposefully misinformed notion is but a "fire in their belly" that amounts to nothing more than acid stomach. the facts are there for people to read yet the response to the confrontation of reason is often a childish fit usually consisting of such statements as "i haven't read it but i don't need to. i know it's true. everyone says it is. everyone. i promise." i should be able to rest my case after presenting that outrageous evidence.

not only is global warming a religion, but it is a bad religion! that is to say it has no benefit to you. sure it promises of good times and peace for your great grandchildrens' great grandchildren, but that is not very encouraging. you get nothing when you die! no heaven, no hell; just the simple relaxation gained from knowing the polar bears back on earth are not dead. i wouldn't go to church for that religion, and i definitely won't use less toilet paper either. at some point, humanity will re-embrace logic (i hope) and come to its senses when regarding such matters. we cannot cure the common cold but we seem to have the audacity to believe we can change the earth's lifespan by lighting one less candle for hanukkah.

saying goodbye to people is very difficult. it does not get any easier, even when you know you will be parting soon. the heart aches and the spirit cries for more time, but providence is the sole proprietor of time and he does as he sees fit. only can we hope for peace when we take our leave. peace that will comfort us through lonely steps...

the irony of death is its bittersweet array of emotions. what can be such a relief to some is but an act of torture to others. in one way the dark shadow is the new found rest of troublesome life; alternatively, the crisp coldness of lifelessness is very source of great pain. if it comes quickly it can be devastating, leaving loved ones desiring more time. if it drags on slowly it cannot come quick enough. such matters are irksome to say the least...

last night i met the future. it was incredible but it ended quite sadly as i could not hold on to it when it escaped.

with the new year just around the corner, and the ever nearer twenty-sixth marker of death, i have been thinking about several goals to set for the coming solar revolution. i have made up my mind on several things, including but not limited to the following: i shall not give up tanning, smoking the pipe or any other such a vice such as the drink. these curiosities divert the mind and are yet a wondrous joy to be a part of my life.

with regard to the aforementioned matters, i already have what i consider to be several healthy habits. these of course include but are not limited to the following: christianity, community fellowship, fitness, a vegan diet, organic choices in food and beauty products, spacial organization, cleanliness, reading, writing, speaking, politics, music, art and culture. all of this, and i still find the need to resolve.

what could i possibly come up with this year that would even affect me in the slightest? i could think of a few ideas; however, such notions would almost certainly lead me to instantaneous instability thereby sending me spiraling into a pitfall of destruction. augustine himself noted the danger in thinking. it only ends in tears one way or another. so how does one settle this dilemma? i possess not a solid answer.

what i can say is this: events of change are on the horizon. set into motion and unstoppable, the proceedings to come were put into place by providence and the flame has already touched the wick. new days, new faces, old faces that have changed. these and more will grace the approaching times. i wonder how my face will change... i wonder if age will weigh on me... where will i turn?

good morning baltimore!

there is nothing like a little hairspray to brighten up your day! the cultural bliss into which one descends in this movie is life altering; it inspires. one is quickly whisked away from loneliness into a world of camaraderie and youthful joy. optimism is at a prime in this adventure and one's heart is quickened to the tune of a jubilant soul.

ode to scottsdale

oh scottsdale, how i loathe thee more than ever

from the moment one first tastes the ilk, he gags

the air thick with austere anonymity, he is alone

puke to the right and drunk girl to the left

a tragic scene no doubt, and all players are doomed

enter the douche, six feet tall and infinitely stupid

his male pattern clearly showing his age

he attempts to start a fight with an immature dig

only to be greeted with the more becoming sound of silence

he puts his four inch tail between his legs and cowers

oh scottsdale, how elated i am to learn that i still detest you

you never change and i clearly will not submit to your sea of filth

the next two years of my life seem to have been planned out for me. i cannot say that time will progress exactly as my premonition suggests, but i am confident that the newest developments shall lead to a certain end result--possibly yielding some varying factors. as i prepare to take this plunge i know i will get wet. as i submerge myself into the deep i know the pressure in my ears will increase. i know these things yet i will embark on such an aquatic adventure...

there are two areas of life in which i extremely loathe change: occupation and place of living. when either of these changes i get cranky and unreasonable, not dissimilar to a whiny child. since my home is stable at this point in time it is the occupational change which bites at me presently. ironically, the shift in occupation ends up affecting the home in a great and powerful way, thereby nullifying the previous sentence. apparently i am on the two year plan for places of employment. but that is not surprising given my undisguised compulsion to stir up the pond. this of course is all to say that though i detest chaos, i frequently throw myself into a whirlwind of chaotic possibilities. so i am a masochist.