the greatest thing in all the world

it is no wonder that i seem to constantly find myself in disbelief over the selfishness of others. this is not to say, however, that i am without guilt; rather, i know how easy it can be to put oneself before a brother or a friend. now scientific studies are revealing the true nature of humanity: love corrupted. from the very beginning, man spoiled his love simply for the possibility of his greater gain. he gave up his pure form for the chance to jump ahead, to create an appetite for that which he previously did not require. mankind could not know what he surrendered until it was gone, for the cost of his promotion was the realization of his former gift. true love lost.

from thence we saw one another, not as individual human beings with feelings, stories and souls, but rather as opportunities for our personal gain. we look each other in the eye, nodding in empty acknowledgement while pondering what we are going to say about ourselves just as soon as we can cut in on the conversation. we say 'i love you' and 'i love you too.' some of us mean it. some try to mean it. and others are so self indulged that they cannot know the difference. we pity our friend, for his plight is unfortunate. but we "have" to complete our own "to do" lists before we can pull over and give him a lift.

one of the best excuses for the lovelessness of humanity is the need for rest. how many times have i been told 'i must postpone our fellowship, for i am exhausted and i must arise early for work.' in reality the phrase should read 'i have booked my schedule to its fullest, leaving sleep as my only free time; and i have filled my life with all that is really important or beneficial to me, so spending time with you is a chore for which i have not the time.' an exaggeration? perhaps, but probably not. people seem to care for each other only when it is convenient or mandatory, and in either case repayment and reward is expected. genuine love is not convenient, as providence has proven. it requires sacrifice and putting second one's own desires.

i have lived in large city for two and a half decades. throughout the years i have seen many faces, old and new. i have grown up in a community where the greatest distance between two people is one half an hour in length. a metropolis that has forced us, the people into close proximity of one another. for once, convenience is on our side, yet i watch in dismay as we grow further apart. we live in a world where it is more acceptable to cancel our plans with a friend than it is to be late to work. therefore we put ourselves first, our finances first, our food first when we should be more concerned with feeding others.

my frustration regarding this matter continues to grow. i try to tame it but time and again people outdo themselves, acting in such a way that i could never consider for fear of losing a friend. what is unthinkable to some is easy for others. gradually, the sincerity of the caring will outshine the hollowness of the loveless as my patience with narcissism dwindles. i suppose that friendships, relationships, and brotherhoods will continue to morph with the ever changing attitudes of humankind. i only hope that the day does not arrive when these words are considered a part of the dead language.