i despise the news.
in fact, i could do without ever viewing another newscast or news story ever again.
however, i rely on such rubbish to know what is happening in the world.
it is unfortunate that my options for keeping up are so limited.
after all, the news is so primitive.

i saw exactly five front page stories this week that were not deserving of the title.
i saw two newscasts that were completely worthless, and run by uneducated imbeciles.
i heard four stories that were "factual" happenings, but really were op ed pieces.
i saw three ridiculous magazine covers, peppered with "celebrity" gossip.
a funny faux-hawk made the news, and it ended up being only pony tails.

i hate the news. i despise the news. lin sue can eat her words, and lipstick too.