Christmas Time Is Here

I am officially announcing the arrival of the Christmas Season. Much to the sorrow of Thanksgiving fanatics, I am unequivocally and unapologetically proclaiming good tidings and cheer. Once again, winter is almost upon us, begging us to sink into a comfy chair with a good book and some hot spiced cider near a crackling fire. With my housecoat and slippers I will eagerly embrace the holidays, sipping up every ounce of festive goodness until I am as plump as Old Saint Nick.

Decked out malls with boughs of holly inspire shoppers as they bustle by. Smells so familiar fill the air as people ask themselves, “what the hell is a sugarplum?” Carols are playing, kids are everywhere and a woman places antlers on her poodle riding in her purse. Indeed this is a wondrous time!

Years ago I began playing Christmas music in October, which was my first clue that something was dreadfully wrong with me. Then I began to ponder my love for singing songs about snowy white Christmases, as I have always lived in a desert lacking in snow due to global warming (note the sarcasm). Surely my curious obsession with this holiday is a psychosis which I should probably address in therapy. Until then I remain like that boy star struck with wonder, staring endlessly into the storefront window at the beautiful red bike.

Essential picks this year in Christmas music? The albums are as follows in no particular order (anything that makes it on this list has my attention, which of course is a great honor):

Enya - And Winter Came

Sarah McLachlan - Wintersong

Josh Groban - Noel

Brian McKnight - I’ll Be Home For Christmas

Jewel - Joy: A Holiday Collection

Michael Buble - Let It Snow

Harry Connick Jr. - When My Heart Finds Christmas

Celine Dion - These Are Special Times

Amy Grant - The Christmas Collection

Maria Carey - Merry Christmas (Still the highest ranking Christmas album of all time in my book)

Something Fun

Recently I have decided to take this blog in another direction (again). Several readers have requested that I integrate more of my daily wit into my blogging, discarding some of my more serious tones. Naturally I have acquiesced, so for the undeterminable future Monte Cristo readers can expect something different, perhaps something outrageous--and what the hell, let’s throw in some “change” and “hope” and kumbaya--everybody’s doing it, yes we can!

Word has it Oprah is quitting in 2011... Hmmm, could this be her move to position herself as BO’s vice prez in the next election? God knows that old guy won’t stick around, he was just window dressing and will end up being a pain in the ass. Anywho BOOW 2012!

Jen is my favorite. She exudes the type of attitude and personality that I would wish upon all of my friends. She is laid back and loving, regardless of the situation, and for that I am greatly appreciative. Plus she does not judge me for my intermittent alcoholism.

My dear friend Jen has posted a brilliant survey of what she did and experienced in 2007. Pardon me for my plagiarism but I must confess my own personal answers to this extensive questionnaire. Here goes...

1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?

I purchased my first home.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I did... And I have already made new ones, Bryan knows what they are...

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Thank God no.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Unfortunately my best friends grandpa and grandfather both passed away within weeks of each other during the Christmas holiday. We will miss them. My brother-in-law's mother died as well.

5. What countries did you visit?

Jacksonville, Florida... If you've been you will understand.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?

Love. Love. Love.

7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

March 18 (birthday party at My Florist), March 19 (we closed on our home), July 19 (I was honest with a friend), and September 28 (Housewarming I & remodel completion).

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Probably remodeling our new condo.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Probably in several relationships.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I had a nasty bout with strep in the summer, followed by my first sinus infection in the winter!

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Two iMacs. And my condo of course!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Mike, Brittany, Jen, Sophie, Nate, Dick, Jeff, Kerri, Rick, Ronnie, Kasdan and myself of course.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

She knows who she is.

14. Where did most of your money go?

The remodel... yikes!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Monday Fun Day.

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?

"Last Night" - Diddy

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a.) happier or sadder?

I don't recall... but I seem to be complacent.

b.) thinner or fatter?

Much thinner, haha. And more lean.

c.) richer or poorer?

Surprisingly richer... I don't know how that happened.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Reading, writing and traveling.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Eat junk food.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Happily with a gigantic bottle of chardonnay, and my laptop to keep me company ;) The family was great to see as well. It was fun to have Sarah and Sophie this year.

22. Did you fall in love in 2007?

Love turned me into a disaster this year... We'll see what happens.

23. How many one-night stands?

Hmm... I know I will get accosted for answering this... but I think ten is correct.

24. What was your favorite TV program?

Brothers and Sisters, Dirty Sexy Money, Desperate Housewives, Battlestar Galactica, and Prison Break.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Hate is a strong word but according to the dictionary unfortunately it seems I do... Though I would never articulate such a harsh phrase.

26. What was the best book you read?

This is easy, "State of Fear" by Michael Crichton. It changed my life. I also picked up "Godless" by Ann Coulter, which was amusing.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

That I could actually play a bunch of classical music that I had never tried before.

28. What did you want and get?

A new iMac, a condo downtown, a new Scion xB, health insurance, life insurance and a retirement plan. Oh, and a bed. :)

29. What did you want and not get?

A trip to California in the summer.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

Does it have to be released this year? I only watch DVD's... As far as that goes, I must say that Finding Neverland was one of my favs... I cried for the last fifteen minutes.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

On my birthday I believe we received our keys to our new condo, but the day before we partied at My Florist. I turned 25, ouch!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Having Jen and Brittany for cocktails everyday!

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?

White on white, and re-introducing the concept of the tie.

34. What kept you sane?

Mike, Jen, Brittany, Rick and Kerri

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Hmm... it depends on what the definition of fancy is. If it means "A" then it is the Pope; if it is "B" then it is Zac Efron ;) LOL

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

Global warming is a religion that is more judgmental than Christian fanatics.

37. Who did you miss?

Robert, Casey, Bethany, Kasdan, Dick, Amber, Dave, Cindy, Uncle Robbie, Uncle Jeff, Manders and Jeff.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

Nate, Sophie, Andrew, Chelsea, Ronnie, Trevor, Richie, Nicole and Travis

39. Tell us some valuable life lessons you learned in 2007.

-I want love; just a different kind.

-Stasis is not satisfactory.

-Money does bring significant stability.

-Women still influence my life the most, whether good or bad.

40. Quote some song lyrics that sum up your year:

"Cigarettes and chocolate milk, these are just a couple of my cravings. Everything it seems I like's a little bit stronger, a little bit thicker, a little bit harmful for me. If i should buy jellybeans, have to eat them all in just one sitting. Everything it seems I like's a little bit sweeter, a little bit fatter, a little bit harmful for me.

And then there's those other things, which for several reasons we won't mention. Everything about them is a little bit stranger, a little bit harder, a little bit deadly. It isn't very smart; tends to make one part so broken-hearted.

Sitting here remembering me, always been a shoe made for the city. Go ahead, accuse me of just singing about places, with scrappy boys faces, have general run of the town. Playing with prodigal songs takes a lot of sentimental Valiums. Can't expect the world to be your raggedy Andy while running on empty you little old doll with a frown.

You got to keep in the game, maintaining mystique while facing forward. I suggest a reading of 'a lesson in tightropes' or 'surfing your high hopes' or 'adios Kansas'.

Still there's not a show on my back, holes or a friendly intervention. I'm just a little bit heiress, a little bit Irish, a little bit Tower of Pisa whenever i see you. So please be kind if I'm a mess."

-Rufus Wainwright, "Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk"

out with the old, in with the new. like a flood of rushing water the sunrise of the new year awaits. surpassing all possibility of remaining implacable, waxing nostalgic, the hereafter comes with a mighty sword, thrashing its way through all stubborn stragglers. i am already moving; i set sail long ago so as not to be taken by surprise. others will look on saying i have abandoned them but if they look closely they will see that my place was in danger from the power of the surge and theirs was safeguarded high atop a towering cliff. that they might come to see this is a dream of mine, yet it in itself is not to be real. perhaps one day their ship will be forced to set sail and i will greet them on the vast sea which now divides us. and we shall reminisce for auld lang syne. 

i found the source of the creepos. i had to kill it, and it hurt me to do so. i love green plants and when they wither a piece of my soul dies also. but the pest is gone and i am thankful. 

with the new year just around the corner, and the ever nearer twenty-sixth marker of death, i have been thinking about several goals to set for the coming solar revolution. i have made up my mind on several things, including but not limited to the following: i shall not give up tanning, smoking the pipe or any other such a vice such as the drink. these curiosities divert the mind and are yet a wondrous joy to be a part of my life.

with regard to the aforementioned matters, i already have what i consider to be several healthy habits. these of course include but are not limited to the following: christianity, community fellowship, fitness, a vegan diet, organic choices in food and beauty products, spacial organization, cleanliness, reading, writing, speaking, politics, music, art and culture. all of this, and i still find the need to resolve.

what could i possibly come up with this year that would even affect me in the slightest? i could think of a few ideas; however, such notions would almost certainly lead me to instantaneous instability thereby sending me spiraling into a pitfall of destruction. augustine himself noted the danger in thinking. it only ends in tears one way or another. so how does one settle this dilemma? i possess not a solid answer.

what i can say is this: events of change are on the horizon. set into motion and unstoppable, the proceedings to come were put into place by providence and the flame has already touched the wick. new days, new faces, old faces that have changed. these and more will grace the approaching times. i wonder how my face will change... i wonder if age will weigh on me... where will i turn?

good morning baltimore!

there is nothing like a little hairspray to brighten up your day! the cultural bliss into which one descends in this movie is life altering; it inspires. one is quickly whisked away from loneliness into a world of camaraderie and youthful joy. optimism is at a prime in this adventure and one's heart is quickened to the tune of a jubilant soul.

halleglorylujah!

i'm back. and not even a computer geek with a chinese passport could subvert me from my lair. the ass has been smitten and i have resumed my electronic life. after seven days and six nights (which sounds like a sequel even more mundane than the original) of utter hell, the hats at google decided that there was something suspicious about me changing my language to mandarin and getting from the united states to asia in three hours. needless to say i am safely returned to my life of records, as it were, and my identity is safely back in my pocket. i feel like peter pan having spent a week chasing around my own shadow that somehow got away from me, the bastard.

so much has happened since the travesty began. i don't even know where to begin. hurricane projections were overestimated (again) this year. hmmm, i'll bet federal aid requests remained the same...

in other news a brit was arrested by the sudanese government for insulting islam. after foolishly naming a teddy bear "mohamed," proponents of the peaceful religion apparently found it prudent to indict the teacher, deciding whether or not to give her the lashes which are standard procedure for women especially. mercifully, the powers that be thought it sufficient to only imprison the fifty-four year old in an overcrowded facility infested with mosquitoes for a mere fifteen days. that's two weeks for those of you in orange county. how did the brits respond? with many "huffs" and "well i never"s. the powerless poodles drooled about while their own rotted away in the hands of the insane. how did the woman's family respond? "our main concern is that people will look poorly on islam for this." well, i'll be damned if i don't disdain the disaster of a religion for its own hypocrisy and lies. in conclusion, this is yet another case of the schoolyard bully pushing down a kid, the teacher and parents telling the kid to stand up and then bend over for the bully, and the kid actually listening to their lunacy. the end.

oh, and by the way, i now have health insurance... for the cost of a healthy tan in the winter one can enable a doctor to prod for irregular tension in the nether regions...

we went to disneyland.
the b-shedd came along as well!
we had fun.
here are some memorable quotes:

"looks like jumping the fence is just second nature to them..."

"that's what she said"

"we should put a giant 'v' on your forehead"

"they are like a potato and a carrot"

"i wonder if they've added the smell of burning forests to the 'soarin over cali' ride"

"i need to get to a bathroom now before i bleed out"

for breakfast, a date with radio shack
some transistors, resistors and a heat sink later
it was time for lunch,
which of course was spent giving music lessons
on to afternoon snack which took me to ace,
the place where i found my sledgehammer and screws
by late afternoon it was time to pound away
two hours later, no niche, no tile and ever decreasing carpet
our home is on the way to becoming a home
some drywall, no carpet, new cabinets, new paint, new floors
will help us get there. meanwhile, we do what we can!
and i did not work out today, due to my john henry fitness program
now it is time for dinner, and a delightful menu at that
oven baked butternut squash with apples and garlic
broccoli half steamed sauteed in olive oil, garlic, red pepper
and sesame seeds;
some fresh warm basmati rice will complete the feast
a rewarding meal for a productive day. the end.

as i build my house, i shall document our progress here
it will give me that special feeling of accomplishment
every nail i drive through a board, every toe i paint
i will put my work here, so that i will know it is finished

i am getting quite the birthday present this year
a beautiful new home, which will be my special project
so much to do, and plenty of time to do it
i cannot wait for the excitement to begin

today it happened. i woke up feeling productive, though still a bit under the weather. i worked out, readied myself for what was sure to be a busy day and proceeded out the door. after catching some much needed rays, i visited a possible abode, bought it, and then checked out some places to rent for the church. i had some success there, especially in sunnyslope. then of course i prepared for sunday, rehearsed the choir and then finally journeyed home. it was indeed a productive day, and for the first time in months i feel as though i accomplished something. oh, and i did not get in a car accident, day one.

and did i mention that i have traded for a new smoking pipe. this shall accompany me on my travels, and soothing leaves will be of great comfort. tis a very true and dear friend, my new churchwarden; one who will quite possibly outlive me.

the new year rises with the sun on the morrow
pale become the memories of old, this year past
this eve brings celebrations of ancient times
and friends everywhere will kindle their bonds

hi-ho, hi-ho
it's off to work i go
a graveyard shift that's five days long
hi-ho, hi-ho, hi-ho hi-ho


by the way, in case i should expire ere i write here again, merry christmas, and to all a good-- well, a long night(s).

silent solace

this mediocrity for which they have settled
shall become the death of all which is new
i cannot yeild to this devastation
but i would rather hinder their misefforts

The road is long and treacherous to be sure
And because of this I shall wear my best boots